The phone went silent. No more ringing, text message alerts, facebook notifications, or e-mail tones. All I could hear was the even sound of my husband’s breathing and the squeak of the nurses shoes as they roamed the tiled hallway outside Junior’s room. I squirmed in the chair as Junior’s IV of medicine clicked and pumped. My eyes squinted in the dimness of the pre-dawn lit room. I suddenly was gripped with fear. I felt alone. The silence of the hospital room was more deafening than the roar of the crash.
Where was He? Where was the God who so sweetly carried me on angel’s wings as I was thrown from the car? Where was my Friend whose arms shielded me from the shattered glass and held me as I lay on the highway? Had He performed His miracle to prove Himself mighty to the world and forgotten about me? Why had silence fallen with no one coming to tell me I was a living miracle anymore? Had I done something wrong? Or was I just being used as a display of God’s power?
Boy, how the devil waits for those vulnerable moments of quiet to weasel his way into questioning God. That’s his oldest, dirtiest trick ~ But it works and that’s why he keeps using it. You see, there was no way I was going to hear his whispers of deceit over the grace and mercy screaming God’s goodness during the accident. No. He waited for the quiet. The darkness before dawn. The solitude. Unfortunately for him, my God is in the small stuff.
Let me use another’s story to illustrate. Elijah, one of the greatest men of God to ever live (he actually never died but that’s a different story…), I think gets a pretty bad rap sometimes when people tell his story of running away from Queen Jezebel. Maybe it’s just me, but I totally get him. God had just used him to call down fire from heaven. He made the prophets of Baal look like the followers of the fake god they truly were. He did it alone. No one in Israel stood with him and God. Elijah waited for hours as 450 men mocked him and called out to Baal. The people fell on their faces after the LORD showed Himself mighty through Elijah. Then Elijah prayed and it rained in Israel. He must’ve been exhausted, emotionally drained… completely spent.
The first news that reached his ears was that the queen was grateful for the rain he prayed back to Israel… NOPE. Or that she wanted to thank him for bringing back the power, favor, and worship of the one true God… definitely NOT. Actually, she was not going to rest until she hunted him down and killed him. So Elijah ran and this is where he just threw up his hands and said that’s enough for me. He probably thought: “Where is He? Where is the God that strongly defeated my enemies? Has He performed His miracle just to win back the fickle heart of Israel and forgotten about me?” About this time, Elijah sunk beneath a juniper tree and asked to die.
God didn’t listen to his request. He said no. Instead, He sent an angel & fed him. Twice. The second time was such good nourishment, Elijah lived 40 days off of it. Elijah still felt the need to hide which he did inside a cave. So God decided to ask Elijah what he was doing. Elijah explained that he had stuck up for Him all alone and now his life was threatened. He felt forsaken. That’s when God decided to pass by. When He did, it created a strong wind so mighty in power that it caused a rock slide down the mountains. But the LORD wasn’t IN the wind. God sent an earthquake that about shook Elijah out of his hiding place. Still Elijah didn’t budge. The LORD wasn’t IN the earthquake. Then came fire from the LORD – just as Elijah had called down to defeat Baal. Even the familiar miracle didn’t calm Elijah’s fear for the LORD wasn’t IN the fire.
Wait! What was that?!? A Voice?!? Elijah strained his ears and leaned closer to the mouth of the cave. There it was again! The Voice didn’t thunder. It wasn’t fiery with anger. It was still. It was small. But the LORD was IN the Voice. And that made all the difference. Instantaneously, Elijah’s fear was gone! He felt love, confidence, grace, mercy, inspiration, and great awe. The Voice brought him out of his cave of fear, depression, loneliness, and questioning. Only because the LORD was IN it.
Now back to a hospital room in Indiana where I was looking for a cave to hide in. Hide from the fear of having to cancel our meetings, the mounting medical bills, ~ from all the things looking to kill my joy. To Hide with my new best friends: self-pity, despair, and loneliness. Then I heard it. A Voice. I know that Voice! It’s the SAME One I heard in the thunder and quaking of the crash, only now it was still ~ bringing assurance & confidence. It was small. Small enough to wrap around my heart or hold my little hand. Just what I needed now that the miracles had been performed.
God loves being in the small stuff. He lives with me in the nitty gritty details of daily living. Just like He fed Elijah, He will care for my needs. I’m not just a pawn in His quest for glory (although He would be worthy to be used up for) ~ that is not Who He is. He gives us miracles as signs and wonders to keep our wandering hearts close to Him or to point lost souls to Him, but He loves the small stuff. We never give Him credit for the non-flashy stuff. We were made, not to hold the staff to part Red Seas, but to walk with Him. Talk with Him. The simple stuff. We think if its not fire from heaven or earth splitting quakes, then the Almighty God of the universe must not be in it. Yet, this is the God that instead of coming to rule and reign over His creation, came as a lowly Jewish carpenter and DIED a horrible, cruel death to save it. The small stuff…
Now when the devil starts to whisper that God doesn’t care, there comes a Voice. It doesn’t bellow or rage. It just speaks. And the Presence IN that Voice stops the devil in his tracks, makes him choke on his ugly words, and causes him to flee.
I can’t wait for the day when I actually hear that Voice. I hear Him speak the words, “I love you” with my ears. But truthfully, I hear it every day. In the verses I read in my devotions, the meals He always provides, the friends that He puts in my life, the secret requests only He knows about and answers, the roses He sends me… there are so many ways, if only I wasn’t listening for the sound of a rushing mighty wind, or the roar of a fire. If only I was tuned into the Voice. I just need to be still and pay attention to the small stuff…
He’s IN that.
~ Jessica
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
"But the Greatest of These Is..." by Jessica Martin
I didn’t want to wake up. I was warm and happy. I felt safe and protected. Someone nudged me and whispered to open my eyes. I shrugged it off and burrowed deeper into His arms. I liked it right where I was. He whispered, “Open your eyes. This is how it will be for now. It’s ok. You have to open your eyes now. It will all be ok. I promise.”
The stars were so bright. The inky black sky made them sparkle. I could see my breath form a cloud in the icy air. I blinked a few times. There was a stranger holding my hand. He yelled to his friend that I was awake. She came rushing over and they both started asking me question after question. I smiled. I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but I knew there had been a crash, I was hurt, but I was going to be ok. I needed these two good Samaritans to know the same Peace I had. No matter how grim it seemed or how bad I looked to them, God had opened my eyes. I was going to be ok…
As I lay on the road, asking my new friends their names & where they were from, a truck driver had stopped to help my husband. Junior couldn’t walk because of his broken ankle, so the truck driver pushed through the glass and metal to find my cell phone so Junior could call family. Junior got ahold of my mom and brother ~ who put it on Facebook, and immediately people all over the country and the world started praying for us ~ all while I was on my back on the side of Interstate 80 in the Nevada desert.
As I was placed in the helicopter, more people started praying as the news spread. I hummed Scripture songs the whole flight. Others fell to their knees in their homes as I was wheeled into the trauma center for scans to find the internal injuries they were sure were there. As others brought my name before God’s throne of matchless grace, the trauma doctor peered over my neck brace, looked into my eyes, and said, “You are a miracle! No internal bleeding! No head trauma!”
A sheet was pulled over my stomach as the surgeon told me not to look at it. In state after state, heads bowed and hushed tones whisphered my name to heaven. The surgeon looked confused and told me, “Your stomach is shredded, but no internal organs were cut. No surgery required. We can just staple you back together. I hope you know that you should not be here. You should not be ok. You are one lucky lady.”
Goodness and mercy followed me my whole hospital stay. I am healing and waiting at the airport to fly home to Chicago as I type. God looks to and fro throughout the earth and looks for ways to show Himself mighty and what a mighty miracle He gave us! All of the grace poured into what was broken, the peace that passed all understanding, the Joy that gave me strength for each mile. But the greatest of all of these is.
.. LOVE.
I didn’t need to hear beautiful poems or challenging short stories. I needed sincere, sweet, genuine words. LOVE is kind. I didn’t need someone who could explain the mystery of why this was happening with all their understanding & knowledge. I needed someone who figured out how they could help me and met my needs no matter the inconvenience to them. LOVE seeketh not her own. I didn’t need someone who’s faith was so strong they could come, lay hands on my abdomen, and heal me with no scars. I needed someone who would cry with me sometimes, trust with me that there was a purpose for this, push me to keep on through the pain, and point me to the big picture. LOVE beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things… I needed LOVE.
And, wow! Did He love on me!!! He sent me YOU! Thank you, each and every one of you! If you prayed for us, even just one prayer! If you sent me kind words, met a need we had, lifted our spirits, pushed us to keep believing ~ you have CHARITY. You don’t have to be gifted to have charity. You don’t have to be popular, you can love without ever being noticed. Charity is unassuming, in the shadows, unnoticed, background work, not flashy, hard, selfless, and unthanked. It will gain you no notoriety, no fame. But it is the most needed thing in this world and sadly, the most lacking.
There abides in this world those with strong, convicting, polarizing, attention-getting faith, unshakeable, soul-stirring, world- reknown hope, but in God’s book, the greatest of these is those who love.
Thank you to everyone who loved me through many different ways through this time in our lives. I may never get to say thank you properly or as you rightly deserve. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being people of charity.
In this world, YOU are the greatest of these…
I love you!
~ Jessica
The stars were so bright. The inky black sky made them sparkle. I could see my breath form a cloud in the icy air. I blinked a few times. There was a stranger holding my hand. He yelled to his friend that I was awake. She came rushing over and they both started asking me question after question. I smiled. I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but I knew there had been a crash, I was hurt, but I was going to be ok. I needed these two good Samaritans to know the same Peace I had. No matter how grim it seemed or how bad I looked to them, God had opened my eyes. I was going to be ok…
As I lay on the road, asking my new friends their names & where they were from, a truck driver had stopped to help my husband. Junior couldn’t walk because of his broken ankle, so the truck driver pushed through the glass and metal to find my cell phone so Junior could call family. Junior got ahold of my mom and brother ~ who put it on Facebook, and immediately people all over the country and the world started praying for us ~ all while I was on my back on the side of Interstate 80 in the Nevada desert.
As I was placed in the helicopter, more people started praying as the news spread. I hummed Scripture songs the whole flight. Others fell to their knees in their homes as I was wheeled into the trauma center for scans to find the internal injuries they were sure were there. As others brought my name before God’s throne of matchless grace, the trauma doctor peered over my neck brace, looked into my eyes, and said, “You are a miracle! No internal bleeding! No head trauma!”
A sheet was pulled over my stomach as the surgeon told me not to look at it. In state after state, heads bowed and hushed tones whisphered my name to heaven. The surgeon looked confused and told me, “Your stomach is shredded, but no internal organs were cut. No surgery required. We can just staple you back together. I hope you know that you should not be here. You should not be ok. You are one lucky lady.”
Goodness and mercy followed me my whole hospital stay. I am healing and waiting at the airport to fly home to Chicago as I type. God looks to and fro throughout the earth and looks for ways to show Himself mighty and what a mighty miracle He gave us! All of the grace poured into what was broken, the peace that passed all understanding, the Joy that gave me strength for each mile. But the greatest of all of these is.
.. LOVE.
I didn’t need to hear beautiful poems or challenging short stories. I needed sincere, sweet, genuine words. LOVE is kind. I didn’t need someone who could explain the mystery of why this was happening with all their understanding & knowledge. I needed someone who figured out how they could help me and met my needs no matter the inconvenience to them. LOVE seeketh not her own. I didn’t need someone who’s faith was so strong they could come, lay hands on my abdomen, and heal me with no scars. I needed someone who would cry with me sometimes, trust with me that there was a purpose for this, push me to keep on through the pain, and point me to the big picture. LOVE beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things… I needed LOVE.
And, wow! Did He love on me!!! He sent me YOU! Thank you, each and every one of you! If you prayed for us, even just one prayer! If you sent me kind words, met a need we had, lifted our spirits, pushed us to keep believing ~ you have CHARITY. You don’t have to be gifted to have charity. You don’t have to be popular, you can love without ever being noticed. Charity is unassuming, in the shadows, unnoticed, background work, not flashy, hard, selfless, and unthanked. It will gain you no notoriety, no fame. But it is the most needed thing in this world and sadly, the most lacking.
There abides in this world those with strong, convicting, polarizing, attention-getting faith, unshakeable, soul-stirring, world- reknown hope, but in God’s book, the greatest of these is those who love.
Thank you to everyone who loved me through many different ways through this time in our lives. I may never get to say thank you properly or as you rightly deserve. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being people of charity.
In this world, YOU are the greatest of these…
I love you!
~ Jessica
Monday, December 19, 2011
Martin family prayer letter for November
Dear Praying Friends, December 3, 2011
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20
For our family, November has always been a month for thankfulness. We truly have so much to be thankful for, from our health to our country, our friends and family, and each and every little thing we so easily take for granted. I think about God’s grace, love, mercy, provision, power, and presence; and any attempt to say “thank you” seems so insufficient. God is so very good to us, so much better than we deserve.
Thankful for Deputation: We are thankful for where our travels took us in November. We began the month already in California and spent most of our time traveling between central and southern California. In addition, we had meetings in New Mexico and Arizona as well. What amazing people and churches! Overall, we were able to be in eight different churches.
Thankful for Soul Winning: What a privilege we have to share the Gospel! I am so thankful that God not only loved us enough to give us salvation, but He allows us to share that salvation with others. Over this last month, we were able to see 16 people accept that gift of salvation. God is so good! One quick story: While in central California, Jessica and I were out knocking on doors. We came across a Spanish lady named Carmen. After talking to her for a few minutes, Jessica began to witness to her in Spanish. As they went through the Bible, Jessica explained that Christ had died for her and that salvation was a free gift. As Carmen read the verses with her, she said, “Que bonita (how beautiful)!” A few moments later, she accepted that gift! Praise the Lord!
Thankful for Friends: We are so thankful for the many friends we have made and for those who have partnered with us while on deputation. This has become so especially apparent to us this month. God has knit our hearts with so many choice people across the country. Just this month we were able to meet many precious people from Lima. Our hearts instantly connected! We are especially thankful for the 20 people and churches who have helped us reach 70% of our support in just 11 short months.
Thankful for Protection: There is no doubt in my mind that God has something very special awaiting us in Peru, and He has constantly been watching over our team. As many of you may already know, on November 20, we began to make our way back to Indiana for Thanksgiving. While on I-80 passing through Fernley, Nevada, we were involved in an auto accident. Our vehicle rolled multiple times, and Jessica was thrown from the car. We were both transported to a hospital in Reno, Nevada. Jessica was bruised severely, fractured six ribs, received eight stitches in her lip, and over 80 staples around her side and abdomen. I shattered my ankle and underwent surgery that night. I am so very thankful that things were no worse than they were. God definitely overshadowed us. We spent three days in the hospital; and, with some help from our church and family, were able to fly back home to continue recovery. I am also thankful for the folks of the Sierra View Baptist Church of Reno who came to our rescue! Pastor and Mrs. Eric Tastet, the Traynors, and the Allens spoiled us and took such good care of us during the time we were there. Words cannot express our gratitude toward everyone who has been so kind to us during this time.
Thankful for Prayer: Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We have a long recovery ahead of us and will be home all of December. I will have surgery again in a few days, and then I will be off my leg for six more weeks. Jessica had all of her staples removed but must wait for her ribs to heal naturally. Fortunately, we were not doing a ton of traveling this month, so we have only had to cancel five meetings. Please pray that our injuries heal quickly so that we can hit the road again on January 1. We are so close to the end of our deputation and so eager to get down to Peru. I can only hope this doesn’t set back our departure.
We are so thankful to all of you who sent cards, made phone calls, sent gifts, and remembered us in your prayers. We are perfectly sheltered in God’s will, and in due time we will see how God will use this for good in our lives. Until then, we will keep on pressing for the mark. There is nothing better than serving Jesus!
Your ambassadors to Peru,
Junior and Jessica Martin
Romans 9:3
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20
For our family, November has always been a month for thankfulness. We truly have so much to be thankful for, from our health to our country, our friends and family, and each and every little thing we so easily take for granted. I think about God’s grace, love, mercy, provision, power, and presence; and any attempt to say “thank you” seems so insufficient. God is so very good to us, so much better than we deserve.
Thankful for Deputation: We are thankful for where our travels took us in November. We began the month already in California and spent most of our time traveling between central and southern California. In addition, we had meetings in New Mexico and Arizona as well. What amazing people and churches! Overall, we were able to be in eight different churches.
Thankful for Soul Winning: What a privilege we have to share the Gospel! I am so thankful that God not only loved us enough to give us salvation, but He allows us to share that salvation with others. Over this last month, we were able to see 16 people accept that gift of salvation. God is so good! One quick story: While in central California, Jessica and I were out knocking on doors. We came across a Spanish lady named Carmen. After talking to her for a few minutes, Jessica began to witness to her in Spanish. As they went through the Bible, Jessica explained that Christ had died for her and that salvation was a free gift. As Carmen read the verses with her, she said, “Que bonita (how beautiful)!” A few moments later, she accepted that gift! Praise the Lord!
Thankful for Friends: We are so thankful for the many friends we have made and for those who have partnered with us while on deputation. This has become so especially apparent to us this month. God has knit our hearts with so many choice people across the country. Just this month we were able to meet many precious people from Lima. Our hearts instantly connected! We are especially thankful for the 20 people and churches who have helped us reach 70% of our support in just 11 short months.
Thankful for Protection: There is no doubt in my mind that God has something very special awaiting us in Peru, and He has constantly been watching over our team. As many of you may already know, on November 20, we began to make our way back to Indiana for Thanksgiving. While on I-80 passing through Fernley, Nevada, we were involved in an auto accident. Our vehicle rolled multiple times, and Jessica was thrown from the car. We were both transported to a hospital in Reno, Nevada. Jessica was bruised severely, fractured six ribs, received eight stitches in her lip, and over 80 staples around her side and abdomen. I shattered my ankle and underwent surgery that night. I am so very thankful that things were no worse than they were. God definitely overshadowed us. We spent three days in the hospital; and, with some help from our church and family, were able to fly back home to continue recovery. I am also thankful for the folks of the Sierra View Baptist Church of Reno who came to our rescue! Pastor and Mrs. Eric Tastet, the Traynors, and the Allens spoiled us and took such good care of us during the time we were there. Words cannot express our gratitude toward everyone who has been so kind to us during this time.
Thankful for Prayer: Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We have a long recovery ahead of us and will be home all of December. I will have surgery again in a few days, and then I will be off my leg for six more weeks. Jessica had all of her staples removed but must wait for her ribs to heal naturally. Fortunately, we were not doing a ton of traveling this month, so we have only had to cancel five meetings. Please pray that our injuries heal quickly so that we can hit the road again on January 1. We are so close to the end of our deputation and so eager to get down to Peru. I can only hope this doesn’t set back our departure.
We are so thankful to all of you who sent cards, made phone calls, sent gifts, and remembered us in your prayers. We are perfectly sheltered in God’s will, and in due time we will see how God will use this for good in our lives. Until then, we will keep on pressing for the mark. There is nothing better than serving Jesus!
Your ambassadors to Peru,
Junior and Jessica Martin
Romans 9:3
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